Yellow line indicates the fallen bough

Nature is Relaxing, Right?

Camping in the woods is where my soul is restored. I don’t need to keep entertained or active. I just need to hear the wind rustling through the trees, hear the birds sing and cicadas buzz and watch nature do its thing while my nervous system calms down to a purr.

My favourite site never fails to provide. Turkey vultures put on air shows, plagues of grackles descend daily to inspect what has been done with the place, Canadian Tiger Swallowtail butterflies really like the clover on this site and Chippy the chipmunk likes to come over and watch me in the hammock. Sometimes he just sits and snacks and watches, sometimes he darts up to get a close up look at me. Once he ran into the screened tent to check it out, did a lap, ran up to the hammock in which I was lounging and tried to run straight into the bag of corn chips on the ground beside me. That did not quite pan out for him. Still, he, or a series of Chippys, have been around every day to chatter and play as they have every time I camp.

Then one day, a red squirrel showed up and just took over the whole joint. He rained acorns on the tent from the giant oak, he ran into the screened tent, jumped up on the table and tried to get into all the food with W chasing him round. He was pretty cocky and I wasn’t sure he was going to stop because a big galoot was on his tail. After a few rounds, he slipped under the tent and headed straight towards me in my hammock. He stood there right under me and coldly stared me down before skittering away. 

Later that evening, we were having our dinner and discussing how deeply pleasant it was to not feel the pressure of productivity. I heard something in the bush and saw Chippy’s stripes as he jumped up on a bush. A moment later, I saw another little body jump on top of him in what I thought was a playful manner. But the other little guy had a bushy squirrel tail. What was I seeing? What’s happening? A moment later, the red squirrel burst from the bush with Chippy hanging from his mouth. He looked at us for a second and took off with the limp Chippy. What the everlasting fuck? Do red squirrels kill chipmunks? No, Chippy!!!!

We had been trying to digitally disconnect, but we scrambled for our phones to find out. Yes indeed. Red squirrels will kill chipmunks if food is scarce or out of territoriality. I honestly had not been prepared for rodent on rodent violence. 

Later that night, we heard some squeaking in Chippy’s usual place. W was overjoyed and went over to the rocks singing “here Chippy, Chippy, Chippy!” A small form ran out from the rocks directly towards W who suddenly yelled “you’re not Chippy!” as he realized he was calling a small field mouse. “I don’t think I like you.” Sensing the change in affection, the mouse stopped and scuttled back into the rocks, dejected. I think W hurt the mouse’s feelings and felt some regret over his callousness.

To cheer ourselves up, we spent the next day at the beach and it was delightful. The lake was a nice temperature and there were loons playing around. It was a nice comeback to chill town after losing our cute buddy. 

And then we got the weather alert. Thunderstorm watch. I looked at the timing, the radar and compared it to what was forecast for Ottawa. We were possibly getting a thunderstorm, many of which I have weathered in my tent on the same site, and Ottawa had the conditions favourable for a tornado. We decided to stay put at the campground, away from any tornados, but we would take down the screen tent in case of high winds. Even when it changed to thunderstorm warning, we were pretty sanguine. Everything extra or easily damaged by wind or rain was squared away in the car and we had what we needed in the tent and vestibule. I could see lightning in the near distance that looked like fireworks. Then I saw that the tornado conditions warning was no longer for Ottawa and was now for us. I think of myself as cautiously chaotic, so I put together a go bag that included my stuffed rabbit. 

Almost immediately our phones screamed a TORNADO WARNING! It told us to immediately seek shelter. A few raindrops were starting to fall as we sprinted down the trail to the car and, as soon as we pulled out, it began to rain torrentially and the winds whipped up. Big trees were bending and I was struggling to see the campground road through the darkness and driving rain. Suddenly there were headlights and I recognized an Ontario Parks vehicle. We both stopped and there was a pause to see who would step out to get soaked. Despite having a poncho and rain pants with me I was wearing neither, only a tank top and a skirt. I ran over to the truck and asked the dude, “Where’s the safest place in a tornado, the showers?” He thought for way too long and said, “yeah, probably the showers.” I drove up to the “comfort station” to find people standing in the doorways of the showers keeping the doors open to let others in. I saw a man with a woman holding a dog and opted for that one. They were a father with his adult daughter and her Yorkie. She was in braids and a dress that made me comment “I’m in a tornado with a woman dressed like Dorothy and a little dog. What are the odds we wind up in Oz?” More people came running and driving up. Stupid people made their children run back to their site to bring more beer with a “be careful!” Ma’am, that call was yours and you already failed.

The warning blasted all our phones one more time and shit was still flying through the air. I saw someone online report a touchdown at Crotch Lake. I reported it to our shower stall of people and we all agreed that we would never want to die at Crotch Lake, or Crotch anything really. Finally, a couple of us got audible notices that the tornado warning was over so we spread it around to those who hadn’t. The banner was off all our phones. By the time we drove back to the campsite, the thunderstorm warning was also over, although the watch was still there for another half hour or so. Drama over.

W walked up the trail first and stopped in confusion at the top. I looked and it took a moment for my brain to register what I was and wasn’t seeing. We couldn’t see our tent for a massive oak bough that had fallen from the tree and landed exactly at the entrance of the tent. It was taller than the tent and heavy! If it had landed a tiny bit back, there would be no tent. And, if we had been dumb enough to stay and it landed a tiny bit back, it would have landed on W’s side of the tent. On W.

It’s fair to say we didn’t get much restful sleep. Nothing like a near miss to give a nice shot of adrenaline to the end of a camping trip.