Holey Guacamole

“Oh my god, is that a tarantula?” as 8 hairy legs raced towards J’s foot.

“Yup,” answered G & myself, confident after our recent foray to the Amazon.

The huge arachnid raced back and forth from under our table to the kitchen area. The locals seemed bemused by J’s fluster and finally swept it away with a rake and sprayed it with insecticide as we protested. The dog, awaiting our food as eagerly as we were, went to see if the dead tarantula was edible but decided no. We all went back to lying in wait for our tlayudas, a Oaxacan specialty of giant corn grilled tortilla stuffed, folded and cut like a pizza. Basically a grilled corn crust calzone. Yummé.

It our reward for a long journey. F & I went to the airport early since Canada’s finest airline’s check-in system was entirely non-functional. Nor was their app and the wait time for their phone system is longer than I probably have to live. At the airport their kiosks also weren’t working and there were 3 people on the check-in desks. Two of them on one desk as a painfully slow but polite trainee and trainer. The national airline really doesn’t want to let people on their planes. The harried gate people dealing with all the cancelled and delayed flight people were way less polite. Our flight was minorly delayed since there were three snowflakes on the tarmac. As was our continuing flight from Toronto to Mexico City. 

We had booked ourself sleep capsules for our overnight in the Mexico City airport and were almost as excited for these sci-fi looking capsules as we were for the whole vacation. We were given our swipe cards, socks (no shoes in the capsule room), a luggage locker with towels, a tv remote and foam earplugs and sent into the capsule netherworld. The locker room looked like it belonged to a spa or clean gym, but the capsule room was freaky: a black lit, narrow corridor  with blue lit numbered doors that looked like they belonged on the Death Star. I found my number, climbed up the oval steps and swiped my card but, instead of a hydraulic space door opening, I pushed apart two pieces of plastic capsule door. Inside was totally space age with a touch control panel that would emit blue light when activated with my card. The whole capsule was as wide as a twin bed mattress, a tv could fold down from the ceiling and a card table could also fold down. There was a lighted mirror and places to charge electronics. A small memory foam pillow and duvet were provided. Despite the coziness of the capsule, neither of us slept well. The whole thing was made of plastic so you could hear everything, hence the earplugs. Every altitude induced fart ricocheted.

The next morning we stopped at a gordita spot for breakfast so I could get spiced up before flying to Puerto Escondido. The second we walked off the plane we were in a tropical paradise. We grabbed a collective taxi and ended up at the gorgeous art house G had rented for us. It’s a delicious three story inside/outside confection in terracotta, ochre and white with a palapa roof. The property has a small footprint but contains the amazing house with a lush tropical garden and pool. It’s a wee piece of absolute perfection and walking distance to the ocean.

The Zicaleta beach area of Puerto Escondido is a total hippy surfer dude hangout. Women with batik sarongs artfully draped over their bikinis order gluten free pizza and charge their crystals in the full moonlight. Beer is cheaper than water and can be gotten in vending machines. Life here with F, N, G and her 2 sisters consists of eating, drinking and beaches. It’s wonderful but I won’t fit my jeans to come back. 

Today our beach basking was interrupted for a short circus show. Some young men set up in front of us with a great sense of spectacle and began attempting the sorts of acts one would see hippies practicing in the parks of Montreal in the 90s. Devil stix, juggling pins and a diabolo on a string. What, no hackysack? Unfortunately none of these guys were nearly as good as the kids playing in parks. The definition of apprehension might be watching bad jugglers tossing machetes. Toss, wince, toss, clash, drop, toss, pull back and wince. Jesus, we will pay you just to stop. Take the money while you still have some fingers.