Ankle 2: No Electric Boogaloo

Ankle #1- the stubbornly injured ankle from falling last year is really flared up again. My erstwhile physiotherapist, E., tells me to stop being so willful and just lay off the poor thing. Take it easy. Don’t push it so much. So I listen to her and…are you kidding? That wouldn't be me, would it?

Instead I take Tofu the wonder wiener for an off leash romp at the Bruce Pit dog park. My ankle absolutely can't tolerate her pulling on a leash but here we can walk together without her disabling me.

It’s a nice sunny day and I have a Timmy’s steeped tea in my hand. Sure my ankle hurts, but otherwise all is good. There is butt sniffing and puppy wrestling going on all around us. There's an extremely excited brown dog bouncing wildly all over the place. Tofu, ever vigilant about getting her back wrecked again, gives it the side eye and warning roll of her lip as it bounces away from her.

Suddenly there is a whomp from behind and underneath me and I am momentarily airborne and twisting. I come down hard with a good head clunk, facing 180 degrees from where I started. The brown dog’s owner rushes over, “ohmygodi’msosorryohmygod.” I am dazed, lying flat out in the dog peed sand and taking stock of my situation. My head hurts a little but my ankle, my right ankle - the good ankle - is totally fucked. My attention is drawn to the dog owner. “Wow,” he says, “you totally saved your Tim’s,” and there, in my right hand, sitting safely on the ground is my cup of tea. Tofu runs over to drink it but he picks it up solemnly, like it is the holy grail. It IS pretty impressive. People crane to watch the wreckage. Denied the tea, Tofu goes after the brown dog to teach it some manners.

W. tries to get me up but he doesn't yet understand. Neither of those ankles is working anymore. I picture me dragging myself through the sand by my arms, my shattered ankles trailing behind me and I give standing up a shot. It’s bad, real bad. “We’re going to the ER.” He half carries me to the car. I full on cried as I worked the gas and brake pedals to drive us around the corner to the nearby hospital. Thanks to T., M. and W.’s folks for helping retrieve my dog and car.

The good news is that this is only a sprain and not supposed to be the ongoing extravaganza that is the other ankle.* I am trying to behave this time around and do the RICE** thing, but it's tough. If I’m going to be this accident prone, I should have live-in staff.

 

* Updated August 4th: ER called back and it is actually an avulsion fracture. Back in a cast.